Larry J. Sanders 4/13/17 Larry J. Sanders 4/13/17

Homecoming

I always fancied one day owning that house, despite my dad’s disbelief I’d ever want to live there. I also thought I’d have him for at least another 20 years, so consider how my feelings for that place soon changed once he was no longer in it. Had I bought the house from my dad or had he gifted it to me, that would’ve been ideal. But it felt weird knowing that house could exist without him, if that makes sense. I hated walking in that door, I dreaded going into his basement, I’d go into the kitchen and start daydreaming about the fake wrestling matches we’d have, I’d look inside his bedroom and notice one side of the bed hasn’t been touched because, oh yeah, only one person sleeps in that bed now.

Larry J. Sanders 1/19/17 Larry J. Sanders 1/19/17

Granny

I give my grandma a hug and kiss before I leave the house. “Bye, Granny. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Don’t forget this address and this phone number, now.”

“I won’t, Granny. I promise.”

Larry J. Sanders 1/22/16 Larry J. Sanders 1/22/16

01.14.2016

Eight days ago, I stood in a pulpit and eulogized my father.

Considering the current state of affairs, I have no clue when I'll be able to write something original. I'm hoping it'll be next week, but I'm fully prepared for this to take some time. In the interim, I'm going to share what I hope was a decent eulogy. This one won't be as melancholy as the first, I promise.

Larry J. Sanders 1/8/16 Larry J. Sanders 1/8/16

I'll Write a Song for You

You were the perfect father for me. I lived in constant fear of letting you down. I still live in that fear, and I doubt it'll ever subside. It motivated me. It'll continue to motivate me, because you've set the absolute highest standards for me to reach. I've never sought accolades or the spotlight for me. Everything I've accomplished has been for you. I'm in awe of the man you were, and I know I've got some big shoes to fill as your only son.

Larry J. Sanders 1/1/16 Larry J. Sanders 1/1/16

How Narcissistic is This Kid?

I got my style from my stepmommy. I got this gift of words from my mommy. I know I can write. I know I can dress. And I'll believe it just enough to keep this project going, and hopefully some folks will agree with me someday soon.

Larry J. Sanders 8/13/15 Larry J. Sanders 8/13/15

08.13.2015

I was so mad at her.

Well, maybe not mad. But I was clearly aggravated.

I was graduating from high school on my 18th birthday. A high school I’d unceremoniously learned I wouldn’t be returning to 2 years ago to the day. This day was clearly a big deal to me. I wasn’t quite sure where my life was headed during the summer of 2008. Fast forward a few short years later, I’d managed to graduate from that same high school with honors, while finessing a full academic scholarship from the best HBCU in the country.

And here was my grandma, sitting in the kitchen, IN HER PAJAMAS.